02 May 2012

thoughts du jour.

we took a lunching-walk through the neighborhood yesterday, my littlest fellow and i, the sky cool and thick with the feel of coming rain. he nattered on about sunglasses and birthdays, clutched his peanut butter sandwich and my hand. the rain held off till we'd almost circled home, and we raced the drops indoors to shrug off damp jackets, little em flushed silly and me feeling like a drought had lifted. (ever since todd and i arrived home from georgia, we were back to square one with little em's behavior. so after three weeks of barely acknowledging the mister or me, he's finally relocating his chattery, semi-cooperative ways, hallelujah.)

also of grave importance, i'd been dreaming of chocolate chip cookies for six days straight: crisped edges, cakey middles, milk chocolate that coats your teeth. the unfortunate thing about being a so-called grown up is that one is responsible for making one's own cookie dreams come true. equally unfortunate is that usually we've eleventy thousand things to do, and cookie making falls somewhere in the late 10,900's.


monday night at 9pm i overruled the priority list and baked up a happy batch (and have been thanking myself ever since for such a fine decision).

so. may is now upon us. on the off-chance you're still ferreting out an uncommon mother's day gift, here are a few handmade/vintage items from the good ol' planet of etsy.

[pop on over here for clickable links]

and lastly: ten months ago today, little em and i trudged bleary-eyed through laguardia's jfk's* passport control and changed our family's trajectory for good. things started hard, and they quickly morphed from immature-behavior-hard to deliberate-defiance-hard. ignoring our better judgment, todd and i operated according to the pervasive theory that any and all difficult behavior has its roots in adoption issues. but we knew little em is very much his own person, and with an unusual background, so after eight months of no change in rebellion levels, we finally opted to employ our common sense: this was strong-willed child stuff, possibly complicated by adoption issues. tackled from this angle, we're suddenly seeing all sorts of growth and progress.

all this to say, adoption experts likely give sound advice for most children and most families, most of the time. but moms, dads, don't be afraid to consult your own noggin and heart. when it comes to your child, you out-expert the experts, and your instinct + love may very well trump theory every time.

*clearly i have no clue what airport we flew into. given the lack of sleep + crazy, i'm still pleasantly surprised we showed up in north america.


Jacki said...

love this, love what your family is all about.

Joy said...


God gave us our own noggin BEFORE the experts were created.


You are so beautiful. Have a great day!

kendal said...

stopping to pray for you. and i love that you stopped and made cookies:)

Carolyn said...

I found this to be true during my years in the trenches of public elementary classrooms. The experts make umbrella theories but not every child stands under an umbrella. Ya have to venture out in the rain to discover their reasoning for standing in the puddle.

Glad you got some CC cookie relief.


M. said...

Those are great gifts! SO creative and unique! Glad you're seeing improvement with your little guy. A mom (or dad) always seems to know.

happygirl said...

Sweet story of the return of trust. Love the idea of chocolate chip cookies, hate the added miles on the treadmill. ;)

Jerusha said...

Great post. We know all about those two-steps-forward-two-point-nine-steps-back days. Yay for cookies! Gonna make some today, myself. And I love your last paragraph. We are daily ferreting out what is adoption/fear/trauma related, and what is plain ole terrible twos...Jesus help us!

Jerusha said...

Ha! Meant to say THREE steps forward, but maybe what I wrote is actually more accurate. ;)

Sarah M said...

So wonderful to hear! We are jumping into adopting again, this time a 5 to 6 year old. Love to hear your advice!!

amy luella said...

very good news! good news for you all! nice call on the chocolate chip cookies.=) sweet ideas for the teachers.

K said...

what an excellent reminder. thanks! and if I wasn't so very, very tired right now from parenting issues of my own, I just might tackle the cookies!

elizabeth said...

Smiling, as I just gave my firstborn daughter The Strong Willed Child by James Dobson, the book that helped me survive my second born who was my strong willed one. Dobson changed everything for me when he said the strong willed ones are called by God to do something only a strong willed one will be able to do...and now my strong willed one is a missionary in Ghana.

grey rose (they/them) said...

well, nic.
i love you. praise jesus for little m and for inspiring your hearts and minds to love him well. it's encouraging to see a portion of your life here on the blog...testimony of his grace dripping off this page.

also? i would like one of each of these rockin' my socks gifties. what a collection!

love to you, darling friend! xo

Heather said...

Now to watch God's miracle unfold :)

Katarina said...

Well said:) Brilliantly written:)
And such a darling treasury:))