24 February 2008

diversions of the feline sort

Ranking fairly high on Elle's burgeoning repertoire of tricks is the Fake Crying Shtick.

Basically, the Fake Crying Shtick (FCS) looks like squinched up eyes and a whole lotta open mouth, sounds like someone saying "Wah" at optimum volume, and feels like I could use a couple of Advil which I am unfortunately allergic to.

Elle has earned herself a designating wailing chair (which is kinda like the wailing wall except pink and not in Jerusalem), where she must sit until she is finished with the current FCS. Usually it takes about two point four seconds. Miraculous, that chair.

So the other night after being tucked into bed, kissed, retucked, and properly watered, Elle launched another FCS because her mother (that'd be me) wouldn't let her have a tea party in bed. I know. The horror.

The episode went like this:




(repeat chorus 800 times)

So down the hall I sat, wondering if I should plunk her in the wailing chair, or if Being Allowed Out of Bed After Bedtime would be considered a reward to her, and also exactly how many of these FCS spells would earn me an early retirement. But before I could settle on a definitive course of action, her tune took an unexpected turn.

Waaaaah! Wa-aaaaaaaaaaaah!



Meow. Meowmeowmeowme-ow.

Meow meow?

Meow meow, meow.

Eventually she meowed herself to sleep, and I telepathically thanked the late Mr. Rogers and Henrietta Pussycat for their calming influence on my youngest child. Though if she starts saying "Speedy delivery!" and "Prince Tuesday, I presume?" we might have to limit her screen time.


Tayasmama said...

Ohhhhh that is FUNNY!!!! I am having to deal with A LOTTT of FCS, only it's actual crying and I bloody can't stand crying! I HATE the sound on crying, allll she ever did when she was a baby was cry. I'm talking non stop and I'm not exaggerating. So I thought that maybe it would dwindle. Nope! She has cried 14 times today already. Yad dude, I counted. And I'm sure while I was outside washing my car there were a couple more. Punishment doesn't help either, it just makes it worse. Can I borrow your magic chair?

kris said...

Ok, seriously almost fell off the chair I was laughing so hard! You are a good woman!

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha! That might be the funnies thing I've ever read. tucked into bed, kissed, retucked, and properly watered This cracks me up. Elle and E would get along famously. :D

Anonymous said...

"Won't you be my neighbor!"

I'd be concerned, as well, if she takes a liking to men in cardigan sweaters. =D

janae said...

I LOVE reading your blog. It always makes me smile! That is just a great story.

Sharon said...

Thanks for such a delightful story. Makes me a little sad mine are all grown up!

pungsnotded said...

ha! Little ones are the funniest people alive!
Meow. I mean if only we, as adults, could just meow for a little attention, now and then.

Anonymous said...

Grandma has been having a little wailing party herself since returning home-- feeling guilty that she wasn't more patient this weekend. I mean after all, how do you really tell what is fake wailing and what is real??? Gifts, bribes, hugs and kisses, and then impatiently saying "st-o-o-p" were not good options. Perhaps next time, Grandma needs to know about the wailing chair. :-) All though, she would miss the making up time.

Melissa said...

FCS is rampant in this country. I don't know why there aren't more studies being done in search of a cure!
Meow meow meow!

Beki - TheRustedChain said...

Bahaha!!! That's hysterical! I bet she finally realized what she sounded like and it reminded her of a cat. :)

At what age can I start the wailing chair? Because I have a 15 month old whose FCS is driving me batty lately! I mean sometimes it goes on for 45 minutes! Rotten little dude.

By the way, I so love the name Elle. Love it.

Christine said...

That is so funny!!!!!

Anonymous said...

HILARIOUS!! oh just hilarious. your blog is great. :)

erin said...

Okay that is so cute! I can totally hear the little meows.

Annette said...

I wonder if I did the FCS thing, maybe my kids would pay attention to me???? Maybe I'll have to try meowing!!! lol I'm pretty sure that WOULD get their attention.

Your stories....I just love them!!!!!

teri said...

HILARIOUS!! oh just hilarious. your blog is great. :)

dkaye said...

"Won't you be my neighbor!"

I'd be concerned, as well, if she takes a liking to men in cardigan sweaters. =D