Pet peeve of the week

**(Disclaimer: I wrote this a while ago, so if you have recently posted a quiz on your blog, rest assured that this is not in direct response to you. It's just me switching my rubberband to the other wrist...)**

Internet quizzes are the bane of my existence. Don't get me wrong, I'm guilty of having posted one or two (hey, it was about ice cream! who can resist ice cream!) and to be honest there are a few that are genuinely entertaining. But I simply can't be alone in recognizing that 99% of them are little more than thinly veiled flattery.

Let's say I'm having a particularly onerous Tuesday. I plop down in front of the computer, type in a few answers and voila! I am hereby entitled to announce to all of blogdom that, as I've long suspected, I am an architectural genius! I am Natalie Portman's identical twin! The Quiz has spoken, and The Quiz does not lie.

Right.

Call me warped and cynical (no really, feel free--I'd completely agree), but I'd find enormous pleasure if these people with obviously too much time and computer programming knowledge on their hands would whip up a few quizzes with honest results. (Heheh.)

For example:

Well, you're actually quite average in every way. "Safe" would be putting it nicely; we prefer the term "boring." If this disturbs you, consider seeking counseling.

or

You are a genius in nothing, although you are alarmingly above average in knowledge of TV sitcom side plots. Seek counseling at the next commercial.

or (hey, I'm on a roll)

You look like no model, famous actor, or anyone even remotely attractive that we can think of. On second thought, you do slightly resemble Snuffleupagus, although that could likely be remedied with a quick shave and a visit to your local counselor.

See? Scads better.

And as an added bonus, I'd be creating numerous job opportunities in the counseling profession. Just call me a genius. Or Natalie Portman's twin. Either one will do.