15 May 2012

a year ago.

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a year ago today we sat nervous and small on the far side of africa, listening to our soon to be son clomp heavy down the stairs to meet us.

a year ago today he stood framed by the playroom door, his face bright with expectation.


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a year ago today he laughed himself silly while the mister dribbled a beach ball, and he flipped through his family book in an endless loop, echoing each name like a song.

a year ago today little em teetered into our lives and we didn't have the skinniest inkling of just how inside out things could get.


* * *


today, our boy is growing and reading and cannot wait for school.


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he's still silly and bossy and chatterboxery. he can run and hop and balance and brush his teeth. he has become a law-abiding citizen (mostly) when mom and dad are on the scene. we are still working on the part where we leave the room and all bets are off.


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i'll be honest, i still have days where i wonder what rainbow of delusion i was living under, thinking i'd be any good at this. but i've learned heaps about grace these past twelve months. i've watched my pettiness and self-absorbancy flame and crumble.

i've learned (and am learning still) the fine art of surrender--of being at the very end of my wretched self and leaning all my heart's weight on the wisdom and tenderness of God.


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and still, He carries us. and slowly, painstakingly, bone by bone, we're becoming a family.

14 comments:

Jennifer said...

This is so beautiful...as an adoptive momma myself--this post really hit home. Parenting children {however our children come to us} is most definitely a journey of the heart. It stretches us in ways we never thought possible and refines us in ways that only God knows we are capable of. You have a beautiful family and an even more beautiful adoption story. Your son is very blessed to have you as his mother. Many blessings to you and your precious family as you continue this journey together.

Hugs,
jennifer

Brandee Shafer said...

I'm thankful for all the ways Jesus grows and stretches us, and I'm oh, so proud of you.

Karen Siddiqi said...

That last one makes me teary-eyed. Parenting my OWN child scares me silly, so I can't imagine embarking on your mission...I'm just so glad you did for his sake and for the sake of so many others who draw strength and inspiration from you.

happygirl said...

It's been a year? Wow. I can see his love shining through those eyes. Your adoption story encourages me to better parent my adult son. Thank you.

Joy Kinard said...

girl. we are in the middle of hard over here. things on the inside are coming out we thought would be prevented by a newborn arrival. wrong feels terribly uncomfortable.

your sweet boy is growing more handsome every day. inside and out i'm sure.

you do good.

xxoo

Long View Ranch said...

your posts are so honest and real. they are inspiring. thank you for sharing your heart so openly.

Kim said...

"and still, He carries us. and slowly, painstakingly, bone by bone, we're becoming a family." amen. that is my life now. painstaking. slow. but still growth.

Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

He's looking so BIG! Why is he doing that? He must be in cahoots with Siley...

Jerusha said...

from "i'll be honest..." to the end--yes, yes, yes, ditto. we'll hit one year at the end of may. we have come so far, and there is still so far to go. even today i screwed up bad. so thankful His grace isn't going anywhere.

kendal said...

look at how much he's grown!!! and i love the imagery - bone by bone. you're doing great, mama.

Katarina said...

What a beautiful post and what a wonderful family you are!!!!

lulu and family said...

you are a family, but yes, you are becoming a family.=) happy anniversary!

Brooke said...

wow. waiting for my boy from ethiopia...yours is such a handsome boy!

Heather said...

Somehow I missed this post!
Hard and beautiful memories rolled into the journey of familyness. I've loved reading all about it and am actually praying toward this same journey, especially after watching your honest, heartwrenching love through it all.