15 May 2012
a year ago.
a year ago today we sat nervous and small on the far side of africa, listening to our soon to be son clomp heavy down the stairs to meet us.
a year ago today he stood framed by the playroom door, his face bright with expectation.
a year ago today he laughed himself silly while the mister dribbled a beach ball, and he flipped through his family book in an endless loop, echoing each name like a song.
a year ago today little em teetered into our lives and we didn't have the skinniest inkling of just how inside out things could get.
* * *
today, our boy is growing and reading and cannot wait for school.
he's still silly and bossy and chatterboxery. he can run and hop and balance and brush his teeth. he has become a law-abiding citizen (mostly) when mom and dad are on the scene. we are still working on the part where we leave the room and all bets are off.
i'll be honest, i still have days where i wonder what rainbow of delusion i was living under, thinking i'd be any good at this. but i've learned heaps about grace these past twelve months. i've watched my pettiness and self-absorbancy flame and crumble.
i've learned (and am learning still) the fine art of surrender--of being at the very end of my wretched self and leaning all my heart's weight on the wisdom and tenderness of God.
and still, He carries us. and slowly, painstakingly, bone by bone, we're becoming a family.