29 December 2011

people.




i know i say this in april and june and october, but this very well might be my favorite time of year. the four biggers are home for a pair of low-key weeks, and we sport jammy pants and salt popcorn and fritter the hours away.

also, there's something to be said about my approval rating climbing 80% when our daytime kid-population jumps to five.

:)







i've been staying up late rereading my adoption-attachment books, which is good for me because even though most of the text doesn't apply to little m's experience, it still helps me frame our conflicts with compassion. like shannan sagely said over tb soft drinks, we're his people. in this world swimming with humanity, we're the ones. the ones who will root for him and pick him up and think he's the bees knees, tantruming or not.









and so today, again, i choose to be on his side. not because i'm selfless and patient like that, but because i am first loved with such hugeness it blows my heart over every time. and because God is crazy about little m, and i'm pretty much just passing the message along.







if you think of it, please pray for us. the struggle for peace bleeds all of us weak, and i can especially tell right now how it wears on our older four. pray that i will see them, that i will love them up and down and sideways.

thanks, friends. y'all are my people.

23 comments:

Captain Murdock said...

Oh, prayers aching from the bottom of my heart friend!

Cam and Meg said...

in the trenches with you...praying....

Kim said...

right now i'm making a steaming cup of tension tamer tea with a giant scoop of honey, and i will pray, pray, pray. you aren't alone. He does love you. and the little guy. and me, too. so, so much. when we're broken and ugly and completely unlovable, He loves us. i will pray that you are wrapped tightly in that Truth today. what a beautiful story He is writing for you even today!

Brandee Shafer said...

Sometimes, when things are less than optimus prime with my beloved, I force myself to remember how long and dark were the years of being unmarried, or married to the wrong someone, or separated, or divorced. I remember the hope in my heart's secret knowledge that the right man was out there, also the borderline despair in how to get from Point A to Point...Z? In my remembering, I'm able to tilt my head and see: even in my frustration, my beloved is HERE. I think back to your "waiting for M" posts and know that, even in your struggles, he's in your home, where he belongs. And that is so much. You know I am praying for all of you. Happy New Year, Nic.

Ostriches Look Funny said...

praying for you. You and your littles. Keep salting the popcorn, I have a feeling salt has magical connective properties! :)

lulu and family said...

yes!, "there's something to be said about my approval rating climbing..."=) and i LOVE "we're his people." those readings in search of understanding and compassion are good stuff...for all of us when we are experiencing/witnessing trouble and need a perspective that goes beyond the 2 foot radius from ourselves (can you tell i could use more compassion, understanding, godly perspective in my life!?=)). your photos melt my heart. beautiful!

Rob said...

Praying for all of you....for a miracle, and for the peace, strength, grace, and patience if He decides it still needs to be a process. I admire you all.

emily wierenga said...

oh nic. there is such beauty in your humility and such God in your eyes. praying that he would pour out of your eyes and wrap his arms tight around your family, around the four olders, around little m, around you and your husband, that you may know peace deep and true this new year. love you.

Jenn said...

Just know you aren't alone in this Nic. There's hope and relief in knowing that others are hunkering down in their own houses pressing in love on the hearts of little ones who've never felt that before. We've had some different issues (we should email about that soon I think)...but it all boils down to the same thing. Choose love because love chose us. Praying for you as always friend!

Rebekah said...

{{hugs}} and prayers, sweet Nic.

happygirl said...

Nic, I'm praying. I know God will honor our prayers. I love your selflessness in this love. I love the modeling of unconditional love you are showing me. :)

Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

Well, I'm all yours. You'll not be rid of me. Ever. I think of you and M so often, and all of the biggers and the Daddy, too. Praying.

Michelle said...

One of the beautiful things about your blog, Nic, apart from the capture of beautiful photographs and words, is that in time, you can look back and see the incremental changes that happen over time. I am praying for you. I also have faith that this time next year you'll be looking back over these posts and see that things have gotten a whole lot better. xxx

fleetfeet said...

God has blessed you with the most beautiful children. Just sayin'.

Also. I do not spend enough time reveling in how much my almighty Father loves me. If I did, I'd be much more quick to love those closest to me, and those who are more difficult to love.

Thank you for this reminder.

And. I am praying for you. And your family. All of them. Everyday.

Love you.

lauren said...

oh my... the war for peace bleeds us quicker than most anything can i would say... i will pray. and pray again. my friend who adopted form uganda at 3 years old... said she had to go back to the beginning. he became her baby for a time. this big boy she cradled in her arms with a sippy cup of milk and did the bonding stare. she bathed him like a little one even though he should have been capable. it was a fast babyhood, and she had fought it for the first 6 months... but in the end she said it helped their hearts meet... in those quiet moments. prayers for you over and over. :)

Karen Siddiqi said...

Praying...

Heather said...

Just talked of you today with another mom who knows a struggling adoptive family. I shared of your posts that allude to that struggle but ooooze love and grace. Praying your big picture will be felt in the small, tricky moments of each day. You amaze me... because you're "passing on the message".
xo

Brandee Shafer said...

Have continued to think of you all day. Have you read this? http://iliveinanantbed.blogspot.com/2010/12/confessions-of-adoptive-mom.html

Love you.

hannah singer said...

these grace soaked, humble words bless me. thank you! and dear nic, i am praying and praying for you ALL. xo

Jodi@ underthegeorgiasun.com said...

in my prayers always and forever

did you feel that?? a hug all the way from south ga. :o)

I Live in an Antbed said...

Amen!!! Praying for you and your precious little ones. Our Father is Sufficient! He gives us everything we need to take the next step, and to do it in Joy. May your day be filled with Him, with His Joy!!! May He sustain and carry you, sweet one. :)

Jen said...

I love how in the deep trenched of struggle you can focus on the hope. Praying for you and yours.

Southern Gal said...

Praying for you all. The new year is fresh and full of possibilities.