12 October 2010

morning bokeh.

morning bokeh

i woke groggy this morning, sleepy vapors of a dream still fogging my brain.

i dreamed of new-old apartments with sliding doors, of seashell soap and people who whispered like yelling and benches that wouldn’t stay untoppled-over.

but mostly, i dreamed of b, my oldest boy. of discovering he had a girlfriend (i run into her mother around the corner of my dream, and she spills the news), and this girl is a little bit taller than my son, with clouds of dark hair and a guileless smile, and i like her on the spot but still cannot get used to the idea of my child. dating.



the good thing, and also the bad thing, with the hubby being a youth pastor is we have a fairly unobstructed view into the mind of your average teenager. by all accounts, it is a fascinating and surprising place, and also scary beyond all reason.

can i just say: i am largely unprepared for the arrival of hormones.

but here they come, flooding our tranquil home, leaving us knee-deep in crazy, and i know without a doubt that now is the time to pay attention and talk with him more, and also listen and listen and listen. and to not stand back or disengage when our children hit that point where they don’t seem to particularly need or like their old mum anymore.

[because in every almost-teenage boy there is a son who desperately needs his parents to treasure him.]



and boy, do i ever.

13 comments:

Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

You're killin' me, Smalls.

I want to climb inside that mind of yours for a while and just look around at the scenery.

I want to talk with you in person, even more.

amanda {the habit of being} said...

beautiful photos and words. and yes, every child needs parents to talk to, parents who listen. good luck with the hormone thing - i'm hoping i have another year (or two or three, God willing)!

Farmgirl Paints said...

so glad you are in a happy place with your child. my girl is having major issues with her best friend and her mom is MY best friend. talk about drama.

Susan said...

mmmmm, but it is a wonderful time when they finally become a man and they want you once again. Treasure every part of it Nic, every single part of it!

fleetfeet said...

Just had my hubby read this post with me. We are entranced by your wisdom. We will be calling you when we reach this stage...

Brooke G. said...

WOW - what a lovely post and the photos to go with it are amazing. What a guy you have there :D

Jenn said...

Glad you are going to pave the way on this one and I can follow along behind and glean what you learn. (I think you might have it pretty well figured out already though). How you love your children, Nic, is beautiful. I wish every parent could have the same honest love. (and I know it isn't really helping your point much...but man...is he cute or what??)

Dana @ Bungalow'56 said...

I was always told that I was in for it with my teenage daughters. One is now 15 another on the cusp at eleven. But most days I feel like I'm the one dealing with rampant hormones, and they are waiting for my sanity.
Beautiful photos as always.
Dana

lulu and family said...

"...there is a [child] who desperately needs his parents to treasure him."

ahhh. thank you, nicole. i really appreciate the way you see and word.=)

The Frat Pack + Me said...

Man this hit home with me. With 2 teen boys in our home it can get kah- raze-eeee! It is pretty cool though! Love the photos...but I love your 'tude even more!

Sami Jo said...

I think I just did something bad. I just clicked on your etsy shopppe.
dangerous.
very dangerous.
:o), Sami Jo

LEAH said...

I LOVE THIS POST! I have a baby boy...well, he's not so baby any more. He's 7! I asked my husband this morning "when did he stop watching Backyardigans"...sigh. I miss that age. Now, I just keep realizing how fast he's growing and soon he will be at the age you are talking about and I so often dread. I just wonder, will he always NEED me, like he does now and although I know he will...I have to remember, "not to back down" like you said in your post. :) or be intimidated by it. I just always hope he needs me...like I need him. Your writing is so adorable and so are your children. You can see it all through your photos!

amanda {the habit of being} said...

beautiful photos and words. and yes, every child needs parents to talk to, parents who listen. good luck with the hormone thing - i'm hoping i have another year (or two or three, God willing)!