07 September 2010

on running.

morning rush

while one of my favorite delusions involves exuding an aura of athleticism, truth be told i’m not a natural born runner. i lack both the fleet-footedness and the passion, rendering me—at best—a reluctant jogger.

still, most every morning i lace up grey nikes and trot out the door. it's not so much that i yearn for the miles ahead, but more that i can’t bear to be the version of me that wouldn’t go.

i’m always glad for the run after, but only about half the time do i enjoy the during. the other fifty percent i’m dying an asphyxiated, sweaty death, and the sole reason i keep plodding on is that i’ve got to get home somehow, and running seems faster than crawling.

but this morning. oh, this morning.

this morning ‘twas just God and me and a september wind, full of bluster and personality. ‘twas a rattling field of corn stalk skeletons, clouds so buoyant they carried the sky. ‘twas cracked sidewalks and flats of soybeans brushed ocher by the sunrise.

inevitably, somewhere between miles three and five, i can feel a loosening, a surrender: me yielding my wizened heart to a Father who kneads it warm again. and if my insides are pliable when i angle back into my driveway, pace and distance become utterly beside the point. it’s been a good run.

one worth repeating over and again, in spite of me.





tuesdays unwrapped at cats

16 comments:

Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

As surely as I sit here in my chair, these are some of the loveliest words I have ever read. You make me want to run.

Ostriches Look Funny said...

I don't like the version of me that wont go for a run either, and yet, I haven't disliked it enough to do something about it...this was so motivating.
I might try running.
I want to run.
The photo is breathtaking and your words are always poems!

Sherry @ Lamp Unto My Feet said...

What a beautiful post! I can envision running in your shoes.

Alisa Greig said...

i've been trying to get myself into the game of running--it's not happening so much--this is how i think of you because i remember this is when i met you--running afterschool :) thank you for the motivation and that's such a pretty picture!

Farmgirl Paints said...

Running is hard. There are days though that it just comes naturally...gracefully. I can feel my legs stretch out and I get into a rhythm and I just become one with the road or treadmill. I love it when that happens. You described it perfectly!

deb said...

truly unreal.
wow.

and I've been a mostly struggling runner for about 6 years now. When it's good. It's like nothing else.

Talia said...

You describe my running experiences beautifully. While not a natural runner, I am addicted to the high I get when I finish. Even when it takes me so.dang.long. Like you wrote, I have to get home somehow and running seems the quickest way there.

Beautiful post!

Courtney said...

I think I am going to run tomorrow morning before the kids go to school...it just seems right after what you wrote. I also have a hate/love relationship with running...hate it while I am doing it most of the time but LOVE how I feel for the rest of the day afterwards...Thanks!

Kimberly said...

Suddenly I really want to go outside. Beautiful thoughts, Nic.

amandatdodson said...

I ran today and your words described it beautifully. You painted a brilliant picture!

lulu and family said...

"...but more that i can’t bear to be the version of me that wouldn’t go." the best, nicole.=)

Jeanneoli said...

This is amazing! I will never look at running the same way.

Courtney Walsh said...

i love this post. i've been wanting to run but assume i need to be athletic just to get started. i like the idea that that's not true...

thank you for posting this. :)

Talia said...

You describe my running experiences beautifully. While not a natural runner, I am addicted to the high I get when I finish. Even when it takes me so.dang.long. Like you wrote, I have to get home somehow and running seems the quickest way there.

Beautiful post!

Sherry @ Lamp Unto My Feet said...

What a beautiful post! I can envision running in your shoes.

Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

As surely as I sit here in my chair, these are some of the loveliest words I have ever read. You make me want to run.