Ranking fairly high on Elle's burgeoning repertoire of tricks is the Fake Crying Shtick.
Basically, the Fake Crying Shtick (FCS) looks like squinched up eyes and a whole lotta open mouth, sounds like someone saying "Wah" at optimum volume, and feels like I could use a couple of Advil which I am unfortunately allergic to.
Elle has earned herself a designating wailing chair (which is kinda like the wailing wall except pink and not in Jerusalem), where she must sit until she is finished with the current FCS. Usually it takes about two point four seconds. Miraculous, that chair.
So the other night after being tucked into bed, kissed, retucked, and properly watered, Elle launched another FCS because her mother (that'd be me) wouldn't let her have a tea party in bed. I know. The horror.
The episode went like this:
(repeat chorus 800 times)
So down the hall I sat, wondering if I should plunk her in the wailing chair, or if Being Allowed Out of Bed After Bedtime would be considered a reward to her, and also exactly how many of these FCS spells would earn me an early retirement. But before I could settle on a definitive course of action, her tune took an unexpected turn.
Meow meow, meow.
Eventually she meowed herself to sleep, and I telepathically thanked the late Mr. Rogers and Henrietta Pussycat for their calming influence on my youngest child. Though if she starts saying "Speedy delivery!" and "Prince Tuesday, I presume?" we might have to limit her screen time.
To Cade, the Week of Your 17th Birthday
7 hours ago