08 February 2008

bloody exculpation

I cut my knee in the shower again today.

You'd think after nineteen years of this shaving business, I'd be a little better at it. But no, once or twice a week I'm sporting bits of toilet paper stuck to my legs like motley feathers.

It's a good thing I have no aspirations of being a leg model. This is mostly because my legs are, well: short. And then they are riddled with scar graffiti from a childhood of scaling trees and chasing brothers and general contact with asphalt and block walls. Not to mention the one time in college intramural soccer when I juked to the left with the ball and this (upperclass, wimpy, curmudgeonly) girl kicked the space where the ball used to be, which was now occupied by my unfortunate shin. And honestly that would've been no biggie except that she then had the gall to drop to the ground clutching her toe as if residing in some alternate reality where her shoe-clad foot could possibly be in more pain than my naked shin.

Apparently I am still harboring some bitterness over this. S'pose I ought to stick some toilet paper forgiveness on my grudge and call it good.

Right. I'll let you know how that goes.

13 comments:

Jen said...

Oh geez. I'm still always cutting myself too. How crazy is it that we would have both had the same soccer incident happen to us. I was in high school at the time. I got kicked in the same spot twice. I think it took 6 months for that sucker to heal up.

Rob said...

What...too cool to wear shin guards, were ya? ;^)

Kimberly said...

Oh dear. I almost never nick myself, but I call it compensation for being a woman who gets five o'clock shadow on her pasty pale legs and has BLACK leg hair. Yeah.

jorth said...

Once when I was playing hockey some snooty girl from the opposite team deliberately whacked my hand, almost breaking my thumb, even though the puck was miles away. And then had had to gall to smirk, as though to say "Whaddya gonna do?"

What I should have done is whacked her one over the head, but I'm not such a quick thinker. Shame.

Laurie said...

ROFLMBO, you kill me! I always come here for a late night chuckle!

Maybe try NAIR! LOL

Laurie

Melissa said...

I still slice myself up too... and I would never consider being a leg model because... well... people would look at my legs :S Ick!

janae said...

I always get my knees and ankles. Not sure why I'm shaving my ankles, come to think of it. Oh, and I nick my shins too.

Erin said...

I could never be a leg model either after 2 ACL knee surgeries in high school from soccer injuries. Tessa kisses my "owies" all of the time!

Fledgling said...

Physical perfection is boring. Scars are events. Things that happened. It means you DID something. Trees climbed, brothers chased, upperclassmen juked.

If you try to exceed your thus-to-fore limits, you might get hurt. And you might just excel. You know the passage from a "Farewell to Arms", I'm sure you must.

Besos and Band-Aids, N.

Melissa said...

I still slice myself up too... and I would never consider being a leg model because... well... people would look at my legs :S Ick!

jorth said...

Once when I was playing hockey some snooty girl from the opposite team deliberately whacked my hand, almost breaking my thumb, even though the puck was miles away. And then had had to gall to smirk, as though to say "Whaddya gonna do?"

What I should have done is whacked her one over the head, but I'm not such a quick thinker. Shame.

janae said...

I always get my knees and ankles. Not sure why I'm shaving my ankles, come to think of it. Oh, and I nick my shins too.

Kimberly said...

Oh dear. I almost never nick myself, but I call it compensation for being a woman who gets five o'clock shadow on her pasty pale legs and has BLACK leg hair. Yeah.