27 January 2008

sunday musings

Do you ever wish you were a different version of yourself? Someone who chooses wisely the first time, who doesn't have tendencies toward depression and futility and character assassination?

Do you sometimes have to really squint to find the grace that wends its way through your messy humanity?

Because I suspect, on occasion, that everyone else is at a party for people who've got it together, and I'm the lone soul stuck at home, uninvited, rearranging my faults.

11 comments:

Ash said...

That is the absolute truth. Well-said, I often feel that myself.

~love said...

i'm always squinting to find the grace.

let's have one of those parties:

you're invited to a "i'm so thankful for grace even if i had to squint to remember it's always there" bash!!

PamperingBeki said...

You just described me to a T.

Hot Flash MaMa said...

We are hard on ourselves aren't we. I had a good cry myself last night.

There's a line from an old song that I love that says..

Grace upon grace
like the waves on the shore
Always enough...always more

So Hawaii girl, think about those waves ALWAYS coming in.

janae said...

Yes, yes, yes. Messy humanity...that describes my life. I was thinking the other day about one of your posts a month ago (or so). You had written about walking through a tragedy without the tragic event. It's so nice to know I'm not alone. Thanks for all your insight and honesty.

Anonymous said...

N, Well said, as always. Your writing is so beautiful & describes my feelings on a semi-daily basis. Keep squinting - it's there. But sometimes, that grace really is hard to find. ~D

Tayasmama said...

Yes, yes, yes :)

Dedee said...

We need to have a party for those of us who don't have it together. Can I host?

Kimberly said...

I feel like I am mistakenly invited to the "got it together" party because I put on a good front, but deep down I know it's all a lie. The fear of exposure keeps me silent. Thanks for not being silent. You have an amazing way of putting into words the things that some of us will never speak.

Melissa said...

Not alone... I don't think you're ever alone in that boat... some just aren't as vocal about it, that's all.

janae said...

Yes, yes, yes. Messy humanity...that describes my life. I was thinking the other day about one of your posts a month ago (or so). You had written about walking through a tragedy without the tragic event. It's so nice to know I'm not alone. Thanks for all your insight and honesty.