Here's the skinny: We started out on a shopping trip that went splendidly, especially considering that the kids I brought along were mine. That went so well, I thought, why not stop off for lunch?
Truth be told, lunch was rather uneventful too, right up to the point where my daughter spilled her chocolate milk. Well, it's not so much that she spilled it as it is that she just stopped holding it. In mid-air. So the plastic carton plummeted at a rate of 9.8 m/s squared (don't say I never learned anything in physics), and exploded across the floor, the vinyl seats, and our unsuspecting legs. It was quite impressive.
I did what all good mothers do and Dealt With It Myself. First step: toss a chunk of
But at McDonald's, this is what happened: nothing. By the time I came back with the second heap of faux napkins, the puddle had not only failed to contract, it was actually expanding its chocolate tentacles across the floor. Upon inspection of the first "napkin" pile, I found that only the bottom napkin was wet, and half-wet at that. This was Not Good.
So what could've been a 30 second wipe-up morphed into ten minutes of me squatting under the table as I coaxed up one milliliter of milk at a time with individual napkins until (hallelujah) a trusty McD's employee happened along with a mop. I really liked that guy.
All of this to issue my napkin report: the Great Golden Arches does not have any bonafide napkins, so if you're headed that way with a toddler (or the spill-prone friend that we all have), bring your own.
That, or make friends with the guy with the mop.